i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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