My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
