I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
