he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
