im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
