I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
