Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
