hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
