I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
