my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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