Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is the high leading the old right now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
