Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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