It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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