Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
