I feel like I'm in dance class right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
