This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
