She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
