drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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