I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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