When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ttyl tear gas
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
