Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
