My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am one with the molecules
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
