she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm passing your future prison.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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