p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
