so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
