these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He passed out mid-signature
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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