hell yes lets make some ravioli
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
