she was so not down for the gang bang
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
