We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
