I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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