I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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