He told me they were just razor bumps!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
where are my eyebrows?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
