I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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