K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
