I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
