omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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