The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
