I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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