Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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