i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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