Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
