I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
