didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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