I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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