just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
