i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
