I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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