worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
