god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
