she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
