Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
